This is an old post from my now-defunct Myspace blog. I'm going to post some of the older postings in reverse chronological order to put a little meat on the bones of this puppy.
Originally posted on Sunday, October 22, 2006.
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible.
These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods.
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (Hmm... something must have gotten lost in the translation.)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
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