Miss California is not a law professor. So don't treat her like one.

Must have been a slow news day. Yesterday, the networks were all blabbing about how Miss California came in second place in the Miss USA pageant. When she was asked whether she supported gay marriage by gay blogger Perez Hilton, she said she did not. Fox News claimed she was robbed because of her answer... Miss California issued a statement standing up for her beliefs... Perez Hilton called her a "dumb bitch" in a video blog following the telecast and later apologized... And in the midst of all of this nonsense, the whole point was lost by everyone who covered the story. In my humble opinion, that point is as follows: She's a beauty queen. Don't ask her hard questions. Don't expect good responses.

In other words, the focus shouldn't be on Miss Cali and her piss poor answer (piss poor if for no other reason than she was being asked a gay rights question by a gay judge--someone who would determine her fate--and she gave an undesirable answer). The focus should be on Perez for asking her--a bleach blonde Barbie--such a politically charged question to begin with.

This reminds me of the time some network asked Britney Spears if she supported President Bush. She said, "I just think we should trust our President in whatever decision he makes and we should just support that." Britney caught flak for that statement in the media. And the minute I saw this retarded little soundbite, I got angry. Not a Brit Brit, though, but at the retarded reporter who decided to ask her such a politically charged question. For Christ's sake, she's Britney Spears! She gets married and unmarried in Vegas in the span of two days, then she marries her backup dancer and divorces him, then she goes into rehab, then she shaves her head, then she hits paparazzi with an umbrella, and then she lip syncs her way through life. Who cares what she thinks about the President?! I don't even care what she thinks about soap!

Maybe it's the "America" in us. The rugged individualism. The professed egalitarianism. In other words, this silly notion that each one of us has an opinion that's just as equal and valid as everyone else's. It's the reason people get so riled up about these "unelec'tud judges legislatin' from the bench and takin away mah rights." They're judges for a reason, Wilbur; they're smarter than you. Hush up now, the adults are talking.

Miss California and Britney are most certainly entitled to their opinions. This is America, after all. And if nothing else, the beloved First Amendment protects the right to make a fool of yourself with your uneducated fly trap. But good pageantry (and good journalism) recognizes that we just want to see how well Miss California's silicone holds up when she struts across the stage in heels, and we just want to see how well Britney lip syncs through "Oops, I did don' done it again." They are there to entertain us, not educate us. Ready? Good. Now, dance, monkey, dance.

Let's direct our annoyance not at those purdy little interviewees responding politely to the questions posed; let's direct our annoyance toward the interviewers who thought that any of us gave a damn what people like Miss California and Britney had to say about important issues.

(On the other hand, if all beauty queens answered questions as poorly as Miss South Carolina did a year ago, I'd Tivo every single pageant and play it on repeat when I had a bad day.)